Coping With Change

Trauma and Wellbeing Specialist Mary Curtis offers some advice for coping with change and times of transition

There are only two things in life that we can be sure of: death and change. Change is inevitable but we all struggle with it to one degree or another. Moving house, a new career, a new relationship or perhaps a relationship breakdown, emigrating, bereavement, loss, and receiving abundance or redundancy are all things that can induce stress. We are all creatures of habit and we prefer our status quo. 

However, life without change is not possible. Each and every day we are changing and by accepting that change is inevitable allows us to move through to the other side. Think of a situation where you have supported someone through a transition. Consider the qualities you used to support them. Perhaps compassion, patience, wisdom, tolerance, nurturing, loving kindness, support, encouragement, and by sharing your practical experiences. Now consider using those same qualities for yourself.

Reclaiming our centre, our balance, and our focus brings us back to our authentic power. Consider your ‘ikigai’. What is your purpose? What fulfils you? Knowing yourself and your passions strengthens us throughout the process of change. Where are you committed? Dedicated and determined? 

Do you have a positive mental attitude and use the law of attraction principles daily? Do you meditate and use mindfulness, breathing techniques? Are you aware of your time and energy levels? How well do you sleep? Where can you make simple changes to enhance your vitality; mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually? 

Eating an alkaline diet and drinking healthy are essential to our wellbeing. If your energy levels vary, it might be worth keeping a daily food diary. If energy levels change, look at what you’ve consumed in the last three days.

How well do you understand and communicate your needs and desires? Can you be vulnerable and ask for help? Having great habits and wonderful friends can make all the difference. It will always come back to you. The one common denominator in your life is you.

At times of change and/or stress, knowing which habits serve you can make the difference between a challenging day, or a much smoother day. It all comes down to you.

Good habits may include exercise such as t’ai chi, yoga, pilates, swimming, running, hiking, walking, journaling, reading and/or writing can help tremendously too. Focus each day on what you have learnt and what you are currently learning from changes. 

Focus on your strengths and improving them daily. Celebrate the small wins; a day of healthy eating when we usually eat processed foods, a day of healthy exercise when we normally slob around, a day of considering your own needs, rather than the dis-ease to please at your ultimate cost. 

Acknowledging how far we have travelled down the road of life can be very insightful. Celebrating the small wins too.

What are your acknowledgements and successes so far? What skills do you have that are unique to you? Keep promises to yourself, as you would with a treasured friend. 

Writing them down will join the subconscious and superconscious mind, bringing power and respect. Reflect on how committed, dedicated and determined you were to complete projects. Feel that feelings and meditate to focus the intention of growth through change. If you’ve done it once you can do it again.

Genuine respect and understanding for yourself will breed respect and understanding in others.

Our habits are coded on our DNA so in times of change it is essential to drink more water. Ideally we need at least 2-3 litres daily. 

Salt baths, regular shake outs, and listening to vibration frequency of 417 Hz or 528 Hz can be really helpful.

The Gayatri and Moolamantras musical frequency are some of the most powerful too and yet classical music by Beethoven and Mozart are incredibly relaxing too.